The quest to find a next placement for Mark is time consuming and stressful, but it’s been made better by a consierge service that skilled nursing hooked me up with. It’s paid for by senior living facilities that want you to choose them for your senior loved one living out their golden years. It feels a bit strange to be touring for my not-senior loved one, but I don’t have a lot of options. I don’t know how I’d got to work everyday, get Mark to all his appointments, and make sure he’s never home alone. And take care of his kids.
My tour guide is Ben. He’s a nice guy with two young kids and a sense of calm hustle. Ben meets with me and listens to our needs. Close by, don’t break the bank, transport to medical appointments, keep Mark from escaping if possible. Ben lines up appointments and tells me where to meet him.
We tour a place a mile from our home. It’s lovely. Family-owned, a resident dog, a non-institutional vibe. Mark gets rejected because of that one time he escaped. We go an grab a beer to kill time before touring the second place. I tell Ben my life story. He tells me his. He thinks my life is pretty complicated. I think his is not.
We move on to tour a second place. It felt like halfway between skilled nursing and the more community-focused model of senior living. There are birds – not as good as a resident dog. The director is tan and looks like she’s on her way to the beach. It feels generic and I don’t like it.
The third place is the one I choose. It’s 15 minutes from home. Close enough that it will be easy to visit him, and far enough that if he gets it in his head to try to escape, he won’t be able to walk home. The rooms are spacious with tall ceilings. It feels more like an apartment than a nursing home. They have a double room that is empty, so Mark will have some privacy, which has been sorely lacking in his life. There’s a mini-kitchen with no cooking elements. It’ll be a way to test if he’s ready to have more independence, but in more regulated place than the full freedom of home. He’ll be given his meds by their staff. They can transport him to appointments. If he needs to advance to a locked dementia unit they have that option. I have to furnish it, and with huge help from neighbors and friends, I get it ready within a few days.
Mark is transport by the skilled nursing facility to his new home. I have paid for two months. We’ll see what happens.